Monday, 23 January 2012

The End of Me

THE END OF ME
You left in November
You gave me no reason
I was in love with you

I'M SORRY I HURT YOU
I DIDN'T DESERT YOU
IT'S NOT WHAT I TRIED TO DO

and I try and I try and i try and I try but this is the end of me
AND I CRY AND I CRY AND I CRY AND I CRY BUT THIS IS THE END OF ME

Why do you hate me
You know that you bait me
Throwing those lines to me
I MET YOU IN SEA-WORLD
BUT THIS IS A FREE WORLD
AND I'M IN CAPTIVITY

and I try etc

You started fading
Overtly parading
Posters of Morrissey
YOU MUST BE JOKING
I WAS JUST CHOKING
ON YOUR INSECURITY

and I try etc

This is goodbye though
You won't even cry so
I'm wishing the best for you
I'M SORRY SINCERELY
THE POSTERS WERE MERELY
THERE TO REMIND ME OF YOU

and I try etc

Friday, 11 March 2011

Liquid Polo


LIQUID POLO...launch party



There has been much talk in the Unlucky Fried Kitten camp with regards to coming up with a new product...after the unparalled success of UFK's Emo Plasticine which is now selling mildly in Rumania and Nepal. After much consideration it was decided that the peppermint drink market is in much need of a revamp...and research has shown that peppermint/spearmint confectionery sells far more in Brewery Towns than it does in any other town...so Andy took himself off to Faversham to breathe in the succulent vapours of the Shepherd and Neame brewery...and to have a few jars of Hürlimann Lager...the much-vaunted jewel in the crown of the Shepherd Neame dynasty. The brewery itself is located very near to Faversham town centre, as such it is possible to smell the brewing processes regularly in the town and surrounding streets.

Spitfire is Shepherd Neame's biggest-selling cask conditioned ale. It is a 4.5% abv bitter, first brewed as a bottled beer to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the Battle of Britain in 1990.[2] The beer is named after the legendary Supermarine Spitfire aircraft designed by R. J. Mitchell. The brand is promoted by award-winning World War II themed advertising.

Other brands:

* Bishop's Finger is full-bodied with complex fruit flavours, it is cask-conditioned ale brewed to a traditional Kentish recipe. It is also exported in bottles to more than 30 countries worldwide.
* Master Brew is the brewery's best-selling cask ale in Kent. It is brewed using only Kentish barley and hops, and is a distinctive, mid-brown bitter ale best known in the brewery's Kentish heartland.
* Early Bird Spring Hop is brewed with the Early Bird single hop variety. This light gold beer is full-bodied, distinctive, with a malty undertone. Seasonally available, from February to May inclusive.
* Goldings Summer Hop Ale is a light flavoured bitter made with Kentish malt and fresh Goldings hops harvested within five miles of the brewery, the beer is almost floral-scented, with a biscuity taste. The brew is seasonally available, from June to August.
* Late Red Autumn Hop Ale is a complex, richly flavoured autumn hop ale. With an autumnal auburn hue, this premium beer achieves a balance between rich, dark malt flavours, and a strong, robust hoppiness. The brew is seasonally available, from September to November.
* Original Porter is a dark ancient style London Porter ale, brewed in the winter season it is typically available from end of November through to February.
* Whitstable Bay is an Organic Ale which has an elegant, light flavour and is backed by the impressive essentials of traditionally farmed, English malted barley and organic hops from New Zealand, which fuse to produce a bittersweet flavour with floral overtones and a dry finish. Its label states it is approved by the Soil Association and the Vegetarian Society.

So...it was with this in mind that Andy felt the need to develop a drink to compliment the various ales of Faversham. Andy went to sleep to invoke the ideas for the product and for the song to promote it...as he does with all UFK presentations...and he awoke with a jolt at 3am with the result....Liquid Polo. It's like the Polo sweet...in a bottle. There has quite clearly never been a drink like it. The drink will come in white, green and pink bottles.
White....Full-blooded Liquid Polo
Green....Low-Calorie Liquid Polo
Pink.....Liquid Polo Rose

LIQUID POLO

Liquid Polo....my favourite drink
Liquid Polo....in green, white and pink
Liquid Polo....up on the shelf
Liquid Polo....just help yourself

Liquid Polo....incredibly nice
Liquid Polo....refreshing with ice
Liquid Polo....my new favourite drink
Liquid Polo....in green, white and pink

Liquid Polo....bitter or sweet
Liquid Polo....goes down a treat
Liquid polo....lively and cool
Liquid Polo....they drink it in school

Liquid Polo....new drink in town
Liquid polo....you can drink upside-down
Liquid Polo....it's chosen by stars
Liquid Polo....they drink it in cars

video

Monday, 7 February 2011

Welcome To Gravesend

video

Here's a song called WELCOME TO GRAVESEND by the quite average pop band called UNLUCKY FRIED KITTEN who are from the United Kingdom.



WELCOME TO GRAVESEND



People walking dogs in crumbling parts of town

Making conversation...spreading germs around

Children buying ice-cream from a foreign man

Somewhere in a back street...from a scruffy van



Lucy buys a postcard and scribbles a 'hello'

To a friend in Bolton...someone she used to know

A toddler in a high-chair spews Weetabix en-masse

Life goes on around me...and memories are crass



Two friends are in a cafe...Mary and Suzanne

Suzie had a little roast beef

Mary had a little lamb

A waitress took a snapshot and I forgot to smile

3 months is a long time...and memories are vile



A midwife parks illegally on a double yellow line

A traffic-warden sees her...and dishes out another fine



A little girl buys cat-food from a shop called Pets At Home

Life still goes on around me...on a mobile phone

Tarpaulin on some scaffolding is flapping in the breeze

Men fight inside a chip-shop...called The Seven Seas



An old lady spends her vouchers at the checkout with a friend

Huh

Is this what I wake up for?



Welcome To Gravesend

Saturday, 15 May 2010

Poor Little Baby by Valentina Morotova




POOR LITTLE BABY

Poor little baby...your head has resigned
Poor little baby...and so has your mind
Poor little baby..you were my best friend
Now things are crazy...our friendship must end

Poor Little Baby
Poor Little Lady

I dyed my my hair red...to get on your show
My lines were well read...but I didn't know
That you were waiting...to rip me to shreds
To leave me hanging..by sinews and threads

Poor Little Baby
Poor Little Lady

You were my best friend...we met every day
You stole my boyfriend...and now you must pay
Outside the milk bar...you ask for a light
Forget the smoke, bitch, I just wanna fight

Poor Little Baby
Poor Little Lady

So now I stand here...with my boot in your face
I'm Valentina..and you're a disgrace
I'm gonna kill ya..oh dear..what a crime
You started first, dear, you took what was mine

Poor Little baby
Poor Little Lady

Monday, 3 May 2010

Elation Day by UFK



Elation Day
I'm so happy I'm walking on air
I'm so happy My friends are all there
I'm so happy I'm climbing the walls
I'm so happy I'm having it all

I'm so frantic I'm swinging from trees
It's romantic I'm easy to please
I'm so happy I've lost my despair
Time for changes I'm cutting my hair

When I was lonely I lived in a void
I screamed at demons I was annoyed
No-one knew me And nobody cared
They looked right through me
Nobody cared

Oh I'm so happy My life is a thrill
I've lost that desire To go out and kill
It came so quickly Out of the blue
It made me happy and it could work for YOU!!!!

Monday, 26 April 2010

The Second-Largest Second-Hand Bookshop In England


THE SECOND-HAND BOOK-SHOP HAS OPENED IT'S DOORS WE'VE GOT LITERALLY THOUSANDS OF NOVELS
ON THREE VOLUMINOUS FLOORS
CHECK PAPERBACK WRITERS TO READ ON THE TRAIN
YOU KNOW IT GETS LONELY ON THE TUBE
... See more
SECOND-HAND BOOKS GOOD FOR THE MIND
COME IN AND LOOK...SEE WHAT YOU CAN FIND
BOOKS ABOUT CHEESE AND DISEASES THAT KILL BEES SECOND-HAND BOOKS AND SOME HAVE BEEN SIGNED

WE'VE GOT BOOKS FOR THE GARDENERS THEY CAN FOLLOW THE PLOT
OUR CRIME SECTION'S DWINDLING SWIFTLY
THE SHOPLIFTERS ARE HOT
THE GOOD PREGNANCY GUIDEBOOK IS LONG OVERDUE BUT YOU KNOW IT GETS THERE IN THE END

SECOND-HAND BOOKS GOOD FOR THE BRAIN
COME IN AND LOOK STAY OUT OF THE RAIN
BOOKS ABOUT TRUE LOVE YOU'LL FIND THEM IN FICTION SECOND-HAND BOOKS FOR YOUR ENTERTAIN....MENT

THE SECOND-HAND BOOKSHOP THREE VOLUMINOUS FLOORS
A MINOR CELEBRITY CAME TO OPEN THE DOORS
HE'S NOT ACTUALLY FAMOUS
BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT
I THINK HE READ CATCHER IN THE RYE

WE'VE GOT PICTURESQUE POSTCARDS WITH COTTAGES THATCHED
WE'VE GOT BOOKS FOR UNTRAINED VIOLINISTS
WITH NO STRINGS ATTACHED
TAKE A BOOK ON VACATION
BUT BUY IT HERE FIRST
YOU KNOW IT HELPS TO PAY THE RENT

SECOND-HAND BOOKS, SOME IN LARGE PRINT
UTOPIAN TALES IN MYOPIAN HINT
BOOKS ABOUT PEOPLE WITH PECULIAR LIFESTYLES SECOND-HAND BOOKS , SOME WORTH A MINT

AT OUR SECOND-HAND BOOKSHOP ALL YOUR SEARCHES ARE MATCHED
ALL MANUSCRIPTS PROFILED AND PACKAGED AND DULY DESPATCHED
COME ON IN FOR A HARDBACK
TAKE YOUR DUSTJACKETS OFF
DON'T PUSH YOUR GRAMMAR OFF THE SYLLABUS

SECOND-HAND BOOKS JUST OPENED THIS WEEK
BOOKS ON ALL SUBJECTS IN LATIN AND GREEK
ESCAPE FROM THE RAT-RACE
YOU CAN PUT ON A BOLD FACE
SECOND-HAND BOOKS, AND SOME ARE ANTIQUE

SECOND-HAND BOOKS GIVE YOUR WIFE A SURPRISE
WITH LORD OF THE RINGS AND LORD OF THE FLIES
WE'RE NEXT TO THE FIREPLACE DELIVERY STORE
CALLED GRATE EXPECTATIONS
SECOND-HAND BOOKS PLEASE COME IN AND BUY

Monday, 15 February 2010

The Second-Largest Second-Hand BookShop in England

The second-hand bookshop
Has just opened it's doors
We've got literally thousands of novels
On three voluminous floors
Check paper-back writers
To read on the train
You know it gets lonely on the tube

Second-hand books...good for the mind
Come in and look...see what you can find
Books about cheese
And diseases that kill bees
Second-hand books..and some have been signed

We've got books for the gardeners
They can follow the plot
Our crime section's dwindling swiftly
The shop-lifters are hot
The Good Pregnancy Guidebook
Is well overdue
But you know it gets there in the end

Second-hand books...good for the brain
Come in and look...stay out of the rain
Books about true love
You'll find them in fiction
Second-hand books...for your entertain......ment

The second-hand bookshop
On three voluminous floors
A minor celebrity came
To open the doors
He's not actually famous
But that's not the point
I think he read 'Catcher In The Rye'

We've got picturesque postcards
With cottages thatched
We have books for untrained violinists
With no strings attached
Take a book on vacation
But buy it here first
'Cos you know it helps to pay the rent

Second-hand books...some in LARGE PRINT
Utopian tales with myopian hint
Books about people
With peculiar lifestyles
Second-hand books..and some worth a mint

At our second-hand bookshop
All your searches are matched
All manuscripts profiled and packaged
And duly despatched
Come on in for a hard-back
Take your dust-jackets off
Don't push your grammar...off the syllabus

Second-hand books...just opened this week
Books on all subjects in Latin and Greek
Escape from the rat-race
You can put on a bold face
Second-hand books..and some are antique

Second-hand books...give your wife a surprise
With Lord of the Rings...or Lord of the Flies
We're next to the fireplace delivery store
Called 'Grate Expectations'
Second-hand books...COME IN AND BUY!!!!