Friday, 11 March 2011
LIQUID POLO...launch party
There has been much talk in the Unlucky Fried Kitten camp with regards to coming up with a new product...after the unparalled success of UFK's Emo Plasticine which is now selling mildly in Rumania and Nepal. After much consideration it was decided that the peppermint drink market is in much need of a revamp...and research has shown that peppermint/spearmint confectionery sells far more in Brewery Towns than it does in any other town...so Andy took himself off to Faversham to breathe in the succulent vapours of the Shepherd and Neame brewery...and to have a few jars of Hürlimann Lager...the much-vaunted jewel in the crown of the Shepherd Neame dynasty. The brewery itself is located very near to Faversham town centre, as such it is possible to smell the brewing processes regularly in the town and surrounding streets.
Spitfire is Shepherd Neame's biggest-selling cask conditioned ale. It is a 4.5% abv bitter, first brewed as a bottled beer to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the Battle of Britain in 1990. The beer is named after the legendary Supermarine Spitfire aircraft designed by R. J. Mitchell. The brand is promoted by award-winning World War II themed advertising.
* Bishop's Finger is full-bodied with complex fruit flavours, it is cask-conditioned ale brewed to a traditional Kentish recipe. It is also exported in bottles to more than 30 countries worldwide.
* Master Brew is the brewery's best-selling cask ale in Kent. It is brewed using only Kentish barley and hops, and is a distinctive, mid-brown bitter ale best known in the brewery's Kentish heartland.
* Early Bird Spring Hop is brewed with the Early Bird single hop variety. This light gold beer is full-bodied, distinctive, with a malty undertone. Seasonally available, from February to May inclusive.
* Goldings Summer Hop Ale is a light flavoured bitter made with Kentish malt and fresh Goldings hops harvested within five miles of the brewery, the beer is almost floral-scented, with a biscuity taste. The brew is seasonally available, from June to August.
* Late Red Autumn Hop Ale is a complex, richly flavoured autumn hop ale. With an autumnal auburn hue, this premium beer achieves a balance between rich, dark malt flavours, and a strong, robust hoppiness. The brew is seasonally available, from September to November.
* Original Porter is a dark ancient style London Porter ale, brewed in the winter season it is typically available from end of November through to February.
* Whitstable Bay is an Organic Ale which has an elegant, light flavour and is backed by the impressive essentials of traditionally farmed, English malted barley and organic hops from New Zealand, which fuse to produce a bittersweet flavour with floral overtones and a dry finish. Its label states it is approved by the Soil Association and the Vegetarian Society.
So...it was with this in mind that Andy felt the need to develop a drink to compliment the various ales of Faversham. Andy went to sleep to invoke the ideas for the product and for the song to promote it...as he does with all UFK presentations...and he awoke with a jolt at 3am with the result....Liquid Polo. It's like the Polo sweet...in a bottle. There has quite clearly never been a drink like it. The drink will come in white, green and pink bottles.
White....Full-blooded Liquid Polo
Green....Low-Calorie Liquid Polo
Pink.....Liquid Polo Rose
Liquid Polo....my favourite drink
Liquid Polo....in green, white and pink
Liquid Polo....up on the shelf
Liquid Polo....just help yourself
Liquid Polo....incredibly nice
Liquid Polo....refreshing with ice
Liquid Polo....my new favourite drink
Liquid Polo....in green, white and pink
Liquid Polo....bitter or sweet
Liquid Polo....goes down a treat
Liquid polo....lively and cool
Liquid Polo....they drink it in school
Liquid Polo....new drink in town
Liquid polo....you can drink upside-down
Liquid Polo....it's chosen by stars
Liquid Polo....they drink it in cars
Monday, 7 February 2011
Here's a song called WELCOME TO GRAVESEND by the quite average pop band called UNLUCKY FRIED KITTEN who are from the United Kingdom.
WELCOME TO GRAVESEND
People walking dogs in crumbling parts of town
Making conversation...spreading germs around
Children buying ice-cream from a foreign man
Somewhere in a back street...from a scruffy van
Lucy buys a postcard and scribbles a 'hello'
To a friend in Bolton...someone she used to know
A toddler in a high-chair spews Weetabix en-masse
Life goes on around me...and memories are crass
Two friends are in a cafe...Mary and Suzanne
Suzie had a little roast beef
Mary had a little lamb
A waitress took a snapshot and I forgot to smile
3 months is a long time...and memories are vile
A midwife parks illegally on a double yellow line
A traffic-warden sees her...and dishes out another fine
A little girl buys cat-food from a shop called Pets At Home
Life still goes on around me...on a mobile phone
Tarpaulin on some scaffolding is flapping in the breeze
Men fight inside a chip-shop...called The Seven Seas
An old lady spends her vouchers at the checkout with a friend
Is this what I wake up for?
Welcome To Gravesend